Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
