It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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