God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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