I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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