hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
