I'll bet she douches with gravy.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
