So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I currently don't understand fingers.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
