there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
