Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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