super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
