I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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