He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
