i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
