It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
