Where did you get a picture of my penis
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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