: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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