I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
