hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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