What a fucking waste of an outfit
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
