I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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