Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Randomize
