Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
