Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
