Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
