Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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