her vagine was all disorganized.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
