hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
