my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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