Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
