Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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