I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
you made out with another girl for some wings
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
