is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
