I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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