I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
