It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
