I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
