Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
