just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
