hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize