I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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