i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
