I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
zippers are such a cool invention
My vagina just recognized that song.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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