Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
