Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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