just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
