so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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