id be glad to
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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