I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
