Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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