he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
