Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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